Richard Thomas’s
Jerry Springer the Opera
3Below Theater
February 24, 2024
Seeing Jerry Springer the Opera is something like being dumped into a latrine and coming back out with a handful of diamonds. You’ll be richer for the experience, but you will need to do some laundry. And take a shower, you stinky fuck!
Sorry. It’s just that this show is filthy, and it really revs up the potty mouth. Thomas makes it worse by taking the worst of these swear-bombs and turning them into little neoclassical ditties. My favorite is “What the fucking fucking fuck!” (You see, on the real Jerry they would bleep that out.)
Okay. So let’s attempt a plot summary. Mr. Springer - Ric Iverson, who does a dead-on impression - leads us through a typical episode, beginning with blue-collar dude Dwight (Joseph Meyers), who can’t seem to resist putting his dick into anything that moves. He informs his fiancee Peaches that he’s been having an affair with her best friend, Big Black and Beautiful Zandra, and then informs both of them that he’s also been boinking Tremont, a “chick with a dick.” (Thankfully, the confessional stops short of farm animals.)
Photo by Dave Lepori.
Next we have Montel (Jared Lee), who says he wants his girlfriend to treat him like a baby. Like a real baby. And then disposes of his tear-away suit, revealing a ripped bod and a diaper. (Lee also has a great tenor voice. I sorta hate him.)
And so it goes in Springer-land, until Jerry is shot by his warmup guy who’s really Satan, which should surprise no one. He wakes up in the underworld, where he’s ordered to host an episode of Jerry Springer in Hell. Either that, or face a punishment that includes barbed wire up the ass (“Barbed wire up the ass! Barbed wire up the ass!”)
The biblical tropes that follow are a little too predictable, but the Springer element certainly puts them in a new light. When Satan (Stephen Guggenheim) faces off against Jesus (super-bod Lee again), he says, “I have two words for you!” And then spends three or four minutes crafting a Mozartean fugue that begins with the syllable fuh and doesn’t end for a lo-o-ong time. Jesus, meanwhile, tries to dispel the devil’s anger with counterpoint. The sheer breath control from these two is dazzling.
The true opera fan, at this point, may be asking, But is this really opera? To which I would say, well, kinda. We’ve got genuine Handelian runs, Verdian choruses, Wagnerian anthems - sometimes just musical theater sung with operatic technique. One thing’s for sure: 3Below’s unique roster of hybrid opera/musical theater singers are perfectly suited to this weird fucking show.
It’s fun to see Joseph Meyers play horndog Dwight (and later, Elvis as God), because we also get to enjoy his gorgeous lyric tenor. Krista Wigle brings her big opera house soprano to Baby Jane, who does play-by-play on the second act, and Nina Edwards brings a similar bearing to Mary, Mother of God. B. Noel Thomas creates a stir with her baritone-to–soprano range, particularly as the Valkyrie, who repeatedly tries and a fails to act as Jerry’s conscience. Operatic veteran Jesse Merlin has a similar effect as chick-with-dick Tremont, suddenly unleashing a basso profundo. The cognitive dissonance is crazy.
It could be that a good healthy dose of cognitive dissonance is precisely what we need right now, as the whole fucking country goes off its rocker. Thomas and lyricist Stewart Lee premiered this show in London in 2003, and probably didn’t anticipate that the United States would eventually become the Jerry Springer Show writ large.
Oh, and those diamonds. After bathing in all this raunch, the effect of a surprising moment of sweetness is particularly sharp. Lyric soprano Lori Schulman (the unfortunate girlfriend of Diaper Man) expresses her simple desires in “I Wanna Sing Something Beautiful,” followed by hoochie mama Lynda Divito’s similar “I Just Wanna Dance,” a musical theater yearning song along the lines of “What I Did For Love.” Fred Isozaki gives an oddly effective stage aside as security man Steve Wilkos. Much later, a KKK song-and-dance number seems intentionally similar to Springtime For Hitler.
And yes, there’s even some payback for all of Jerry’s crap-meistering. He’s introduced to hell by a litany of deaths cause by his guests’ appearances on his show. Baby Jane is walking around with a plumber’s wrench in her skull. Toward the end, he’s left to talk his way out, repeatedly slipping and falling on a ladder with each failed attempt.
As for my Final Note, I can’t really tell you what this show is about. That may be the point. I will tell you that opera singers singing about lesbians, drag queens and shitting in one’s diapers is one of the funniest things that you will ever witness. And if you should find the show offensive, I have two words for you: Fuh-uh-uh-UH, Fuh-uh-uh-uh-uh… Well, you get the point.
Through March 17, 3Below Theater, 288 S. Second Street, San Jose. 3BelowTheaters.com, 408/404-7711. $25-$65.
Michael J. Vaughn is a 40-year opera critic and author of the novel Punks for the Opera, available at Amazon.com.