What to do you call a
guitarist without a girlfriend? Homeless.
Who's that guy
walking with the musicians? It's the drummer!
A boy came home from
his first bass lesson. His dad asked him how it went. "Today we learned
the E string." The boy
came home from his second lesson and dad asked him how it went. "Today we
learned the A string." The boy came home
from his third lesson. Dad asked, "So did you learn the D string
today?" "Nah. Had a gig."
How many tenors does
it take to screw in a light bulb?
Only one: he holds
the lightbulb in place and waits for the world to revolve around him.
It takes three
sopranos to screw in a lightbulb. One to screw in the bulb, one to kick out the
chair, and a third to say, "I could have done it better."
How many altos does
it take to change a light bulb?
None. They can't get up that high.
None. They can't get up that high.
What's the definition
of a mezzo?
A soprano who can sightread.
A soprano who can sightread.
"An opera is a
performance in which a soprano and a tenor want to make love, but are prevented
from doing so by a baritone." --George Bernard Shaw
A female vocalist
asks her keyboard player, "I'd like to do 'My Funny Valentine' tonight...
but can you think of a way to 'jazz' it up?"
Keyboard player replies, "Sure, we can do the first chorus in G minor, then modulate to G#minor for the second chorus in 5/4 time, then modulate to A minor in 3/4 time for the bridge, then cut off the last 3 bars!"
She claims, "that might be too complicated to do without a rehearsal!"
Keyboard player responds, "Well, that's how you did it last night!"
Keyboard player replies, "Sure, we can do the first chorus in G minor, then modulate to G#minor for the second chorus in 5/4 time, then modulate to A minor in 3/4 time for the bridge, then cut off the last 3 bars!"
She claims, "that might be too complicated to do without a rehearsal!"
Keyboard player responds, "Well, that's how you did it last night!"
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